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“Starting conversations is now the easiest part of saying hello ... and getting phone numbers”

People talk. It's the best open communication tool we have, being able to meet, greet and converse with each other. Ideas are exchanged, friendships made, bonds forged.

Then comes dating. Again we have meeting, greeting, creating friendships and bonding to each other on a higher level than just friends. But for many guys (and I bet many girls too) the fear of mixing these two simple actions causes unbearable fear which leads to unnecessary loneliness. Men need to learn how to talk with the opposite sex all anew. From grade school to the present, for many guys the thought of a simple introduction to someone they are attracted to causes sweating, heart palpitations, extreme nervousness and discomfort. Even to the point of nausea sometimes.

Why does this happen you ask?

Well the answer isn't that guys are aliens. Although, if you watch this happen to your friends when you're out hanging around and an attractive woman walks by, you may convince yourself that something is taking them over.

The real answer is: Guys don't know how to start conversations with women. Talking to women is not one of the seven senses that we are born with.

Here is the top list of things to talk about with women, as a way to introduce yourself and to practice beginning conversations, without being a wussie. I won't bother going into the lame topics that you probably already know, like the weather.

Does this come in my size?
- Any sales girl, waitress, about anything, anytime

Have you seen the movie version of this?
- Great for any product, anytime, and can lead to a funny story you make up as you go

This was cool until I saw that he (she, someone over there) had one.
- Starting topic for a product, shirt, item of clothing, anything, that you have decided is now uncool

Do you know what happens next?
- After your "Hello" ask this and create a storyline that leads to her writing down her email address or phone number

Starting conversations with women is something that must be learned. And practiced.

The next step is still yours:

I will repeat that last statement: Starting conversations with women is something that must be learned. And practiced.

You need to be able to, at any time of the day, be able to say something, anything, to any woman you meet during your day. And I don't mean "Hi, how's it going" as a way to start a conversation. That is as lame as it gets, don't you agree?

Here is a question I received and the answer I gave him:

Dave,
Your stuff is right on. The thing I like most about it is that you keep your self-respect when use the stuff in your book . . . and women pick up on this.
My question is this: Can you recommend any exercises that one can do on his own that can keep him from behaving like 95% of the losers that have no spine and no persistence? You know... some "spine strengthening" exercises.
Keep up the good work,
S.

My Reply:
The best exercise is to make sure to practice with EVERY woman you meet. From the grocery store line to the operator on the telephone. All of them. Test every kind of cocky/funny idea you can come up with.
If you're on the phone with the operator, say:
"Wow, thanks for your help... I think this relationship is off to a good start."
If you're in a clothing store and a woman asks "Can I help you?" say "Wow, this new cologne must be working... I've had a woman walk up and talk to me in every store I've been in."
Just practice saying charming, funny, slightly arrogant things. If you keep this up, you'll keep seeing the positive responses that you'll get, and it will become "reflexive."
Thanks for your letter,
David D.

***COMMENT***
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